Joe: http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/movie-talk-thor-revealed-first-photo.html
Steve: G*D DAMMIT!
THEY FUCKED IT UP!
WHEN A CHARACTER IS DRAWN WEARING CHAIN MAIL, YOU DON’T MAKE HIS MOVIE COSTUME LOOK LIKE A DRAWING OF CHAIN MAIL!
YOU PUT HIM IN MOTHERFUCKING CHAIN MAIL!
I fucking KNEW they were gonna botch Thor.
It’s so damn easy to get right and so damn obvious that they weren’t going to.
Dirty motherfuckers.
Joe: That’s all the time we have for tonight everybody, good night Chicago!
Posted in Comic books, Movies, Stuff Steve hates
Steve: I have never met Tommy Lee or any member of Mötley Crüe
Joe: Ok.
Steve: Nonetheless, I just came across some pictures of them on Wikipedia.
And I can smell the beer and cigarettes from here.
Through the freaking internet.
Joe: Yeah, pretty much.
Posted in Celebrities, Stuff Steve hates, Talking trash
Joe: Another really inspirational 80′s song is that all rock singers African aid Christmas song.
Steve: Oh yeah.
Joe: Do They Know It’s Christmas Time.
That was great.
Steve: And We Are the World.
Joe: What the hell was it about the 80′s?
Was everyone just happy the 70′s were over?
Steve: Yeah, plus everyone was really complacent and materialistic.
So it took music like that to get any reaction at all.
Joe: Right.
It’s like on New Year’s Eve in 1979, the universe was ready for Ronald Reagan, GI Joe, and three Rocky movies.
Steve: Four Rocky movies.
Oh wait, one was already out.
Yeah, three.
Joe: Rocky 2-5.
2-4 sorry.
Steve: Yeah, if you say Rocky V again, I’ma bust you up.
Joe: Yeah, three.
Here’s my new titles for Rocky films.
Rocky
Rocky II
Rocky III
Rocky IV – Rocky Defeats Communism
20 years pass
Rocky Balboa
Steve: Exactly.
Joe: I mean, what the hell happened there?
Steve: Stallone had a dark period.
He got a little confused and lost his way for a while.
Joe: The 90′s were not good to Stallone.
Steve: We should all just be glad he found his way back in time to finish out Rocky and Rambo in style and give us the amazing gift of The Expendables.
Joe: True.
I think the 90′s were so depressing a decade – a come down from the 80′s – that most 80′s heroes had no clue what to do.
Can you imagine trying to get an A-team movie green lit, let alone made, in the 90′s?
I mean, I loved the 90′s, but it was freaking depressing across the board.
Steve: Yeah, they were all trying to be “gritty” and “modern.”
Comic books are the litmus test for things like that.
That’s when Hal Jordan turned evil, killed the entire Green Lantern Corps, and was replaced by some douchebag nobody liked.
Aquaman got his hand eaten off by pirhanas, grew a beard and turned into a dick with a harpoon arm.
Batman got his back broken and was replaced by a murderer.
Spider-Man had a daughter who was kidnapped and then died.
Also Aunt May died (the first time).
Even Superman died and came back with long hair.
In short, everything was fucked up.
Joe: Yeah, I feel like the 70′s screwed everything up.
The 80′s became super selfish and self absorbed because of how ridiculous the 70′s were, and then then 90′s were depressing and gritty because selfishness is empty and hollow.
If there was a decade worth erasing from history, it would be the 70′s, but only so long as we could keep the music from that decade.
Steve: I think the 90′s also suffered from the formula mindset of entertainment in the 80′s.
That was when they discovered the summer blockbuster and basically started thinking they could pump out multimillion dollar “entertainment” by just following a few simple guidelines and the idiot masses would come in droves.
Then in the 90′s all the great 80′s ideas were used up, but they still kept trying to crank them out.
So everything basically sucked and that was depressing.
Joe: Yeah, there were some gems though.
Oh wait, Batman was made in 1989 wasn’t it?
Steve: Yep.
Joe: Okay, there were some good ones in there.
Tombstone (although there was totally a depressing undertone).
The Matrix ended the 90′s on a high note.
Steve: Yeah, all of 1999 was amazing, as we’ve previously discussed.
I think that’s when Hollywood started trying to get its feet back under it.
Joe: Right.
I think there was an Indiana Jones movie in the 90′s right?
The third one?
Steve: Nope, that was 1989.
Joe: Darn it.
All my favorite movies from the 90′s were made in the 80′s.
Jurassic Park was okay.
Although Speilberg’s masterpiece, Schindler’s List, was a brutally depressing film.
Plus, fucking Titanic came from the 90′s.
Steve: Wait a minute.
What movies came out in 2009?
Joe: http://www.themovieinsider.com/movie-releases/-/2009/
Steve: Okay, not much.
But 2008 was amazing.
Joe: Right.
Steve: As was 1999.
and 1989.
Joe: Maybe it’s every 9 years.
Steve: So is it like roughly every 9-10 years?
Joe: So, movies will be awesome in either 2018 or 2019.
But until then, we’ll get like three good ones a year.
Steve: Shoot.
Posted in Kick-Ass Music, Movies, Stuff Joe hates, Stuff Steve hates, T.V.
Steve: SOMEDAY!
LOVE WILL FIND YOU!
TRUE LOVE!
WON’T DESERT YOU!
Joe: What’s that from?
Steve: Journey.
It came on Pandora just now.
Joe: Journey makes me want to find an epic enemy and defeat him with a sword and/or axe. Then make love to my wife while listening to more Journey.
Steve: Absolfuckinglutely.
Journey makes me want to jump out of an airplane with a knife in my teeth and crash through 18 skylights on my way to a fistfight against 40 guys.
Then make love to my wife while listening to more Journey.
Joe: Agreed.
What metal bands are the most inspirational?
Steve: Journey’s not really metal.
They’re more just awesome.
Joe: True.
They’re borderline hard rock.
Truly inspirational though.
Although, listening to Journey in my office is like taking steroids before a nap.
Steve: Oh yeah.
Journey is to music what Red Bull is to food.
Joe: This brings up a great question though “What is the most inspirational rock song of the 80′s?”
And, I actually have the answer, it’s sort of a no brainer.
Steve: What’s your answer?
Joe: Eye Of The Tiger.
I don’t even think there’s any room for debate.
Steve: Yes there is.
Because I’m disallowing songs that were written for movie soundtracks.
Now it’s suddenly much harder.
Joe: That’s true, but if we were allowing soundtrack songs, Eye Of The Tiger wins hands down.
Otherwise, it’s tough.
Steve: Oh yeah totally.
Eye Of the Tiger is the punch in the face of songs.
Joe: You’ve got that Whitesnake song with the lyrics “here I go again on my own.”
You’ve got Bon Jovi’s Living on a Prayer.
Pretty much anything Journey did after Jan. 1, 1980.
Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA seems inspirational until you read the lyrics and realize it’s an anti-war song from the most depressing singer ever.
Although, Born to Run was pretty inspirational.
Steve: Sweet Child O’ Mine.
Oh, btw I just listened to that Whitesnake song.
It sucks.
Joe: You suck.
Steve: Back in Black.
That’s inspirational in a different way.
Joe: Right.
Welcome to the Jungle isn’t inspirational, it’s just really good.
What’s the other huge Guns N’ Roses song from the 80′s?
I’m blanking.
Don’t Stop Believing by Journey.
Steve: You were thinking of Paradise City
But I have the mother lode right here.
Neil Diamond.
Coming to America.
Joe: Oh yeah.
Steve: Fuck every other song.
Joe: That might win hands down.
Everywhere around the world, they’re coming to America.
Steve: Every time that flag’s unfurled,
They’re coming to America.
Joe: Danger Zone by Kenny Logins is inspirational, but it got butchered by commercials and pop culture.
It was awesome, but on the line of cheesy and then got used way too much.
Jukebox Hero by Foreigner is okay, but not quite inspirational.
Take On Me by Aha is like romantic inspiration, but not quite what we’re looking for.
Steve: Wasn’t Danger Zone from Top Gun though?
Joe: Oh right.
Sorry.
Dude, Eye Of The Tiger is still awesome, but I think Coming To America might just be the most inspirational song of the 1980′s.
Steve: Man in the Mirror…
Even MJ can’t beat Neil Diamond on this one.
Joe: Yeah, Man In The Mirror is really good.
True.
If Mexican immigrants wanted to make everyone pro-illegal immigration, they’d hire a commercial crew to play that music over photos of them being arrested by cops at the border.
Steve: I’m an amnesty supporter
I think it sucks that there are so many illegals here, but only half as much as it sucks how hard it is to come to this country legally.
Joe: Wait, what was the James Brown song from Rocky IV?
Living In America.
That was cool.
Steve: Oh yeah, living in America rocks.
But that might be from the 70′s.
Joe: True.
Steve: No, it’s from ’85.
Joe: Wait.
That might be a movie song too.
Joe:
I’m ready to fight someone in my office.
I’m gonna go punch a secretary.
Steve: BUM!
BUM BUM BUM!
BUM BUM BUM!
Joe: Dammit this is hard without movie songs.
Steve: BUM BUM BAAAAAA!
I don’t think Living in America was actualy written for Rocky IV though.
I think it was just used in it.
So it still counts.
Joe: Ok.
Steve: But it still doesn’t beat Neil Freaking Diamond.
Who saw that coming?
Joe: I know.
Steve: That’s like Flanders winning a shootout against Delta Force.
Joe: Yeah…what?
Steve: Neil Diamond = Flanders.
All other 80′s rock stars = Delta Force.
Inspirational songs = bullets.
Joe: Yeah Steve=what?
Anyway.
That was way easier than I thought it would be.
Steve: Yeah for real.
Posted in Celebrities, Kick-Ass Music
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