Joe: We walked 3.5 miles yesterday just to get some ice cream. Women simply don’t make any sense.
Steve: My breakfast so far is ice cream and bacon.
Men don’t make a lot of sense either.
Joe: True.
Okay, ready for a topic that will make you angry?
Steve: Ok.
Joe: Best thing about the 3 crappy newer Star Wars films.
Steve: Best…
Joe: Yep
Steve: huh.
Joe: You hate me don’t you?
Steve: No, I’m just confused.
Joe: Oh, and you can’t say Darth Vader.
He’s from the originals
Steve: Vader wasn’t in them.
Except 30 seconds at the end that was a total ripoff.
There’s no way that could be called a good thing even if I was allowed to say Vader.
Joe: How about I phrase the question this way “Least worst thing about Episodes 1-3″
Steve: I’m thinking, I’m thinking.
The pod races weren’t bad.
As long as you cut around the kid’s acting.
And the CG Hutt.
And all the CG characters.
Damn.
That really might be the best I can do.
Joe: Yoda light saber fight.
Steve: Oh yeah.
Joe: That’s it though.
The only decent thing.
Steve: That kind of lost its cool though.
Joe: That’s true.
Steve: Because it was between him and some character that I had no idea who the heck he was.
Joe: Especially when you go back and watch how bad the CGI actually was, it’s annoying.
Steve: And it was 3/4 of the way through the second of three of the worst movies ever made.
Joe: You can see Christopher Lee’s face transplanted on the actual guy at one point.
But the scene where you hear Yoda walking in with his cane was legitimately awesome.
Unfortunately, nothing else came anywhere near that moment.
Steve: Yeah, I remember thinking that scene was cool at the time, but I haven’t watched it since the theater.
So it obviously wasn’t cool enough.
Joe: I would continue that streak though. I was super bored Sunday and watched 10 minutes of Phantom Menace. It gave me herpes.
Steve: Wait, this Sunday?
Joe: I think so.
Steve: Like in in the year 2010, somebody flipped on their TV and tried to give Phantom Menace another go?
I think you just gave me cancer.
Joe: No, not tried to give it another go. It was between To Catch A Predator and nothing.
I’m sorry I caused all that cancer.
I was explaining to Liz how good scifi is often destined to lose money but terrible scifi somehow makes money.
In general.
Steve: Yeah, that’s true a lot.
I think Star Wars and Star Trek were both making too much money in the late 90′s and early 2000′s, so that’s why they had to ruin both franchises.
It must be a law or something.
Joe: Something like that.
I kind of want to go back to the days when Star Wars was amazing and any time it came on TV it was like a holiday.
I want those days back
Steve: Me too, dude.
Me too.
It’s sad that there are still fans who jump up and down clapping their hands any time they hear about a new Star Wars game or some crappy TV show being planned.
It’s like they refuse to accept the truth.
It can never be undone.
Star Wars is over.
Joe: It’s just so sad.
Steve: I had one guy actually try to tell me the Clone Wars animated series was good.
Because it was “way better than the prequels.”
Watching half of Point Break on Saturday afternoon television while you’re drunk on Vodka and a bouncer named Tiny kicks you in the nuts over and over is better than the prequels.
Joe: Our grandparents had the days Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Richy Valens died. Our parents had the day John Lennon was shot. We have the day Phantom Menace was released.
Steve: Yup.
