Predators Released Today!

Joe: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/10012256-predators/
Next weekend?

Steve: I might go this weekend.
Next weekend is Inception.

Joe: Oh right.

Steve: Sarah and I have a deal.
I will see Inception if she will see Predators.

Joe: I think Inception will be really good and Predators will be better than Predator 2 and those AVP movies.

Steve: I know I should want to see Inception anyway, but I just can’t bring myself to care about that movie.
No matter how many good reviews it gets.
I think it’s just because they’ve been playing the same two trailers for a year.
And they’ve still barely told us anything about it.

Joe: But don’t we get annoyed when trailers tell use the whole story? I sorta of like that.

Steve: Yeah, but there’s a middle ground.
You don’t have to tell me the whole story to tell me the premise.
All I know about Inception is something about dreams and a city gets folded in half.
But I think Predators will be awesome.
It’s gotten all good reviews so far.
And more importantly, Robert Rodriguez has promised to restore the Predator franchise to its pre-spin-off glory.
Which means he, like the rest of the actual sci-fi fans of the world, is wondering why we should care about yet another Aliens Vs. Predator movie or video game or comic book or whatever when there hasn’t been a legit Predator movie since the 80′s.
I think he’s about to fix that problem.
And even that Danny Glover movie was just kind of weird.
Not terrible, exactly.
Just… weird.

Joe: It annoyed me.

Steve: It set the tone for Predator lore to come.
Which is either good or bad.

Joe: I think the overall problem with Predator movies is that the draw of the Predators is also their downfall. They toy with humanity because they’re stronger and more advanced. But, who the hell wants to pay $12 to see humans get their asses kicked by Predators for two hours?

Steve: Um… everyone?

Joe: Dude, the second Predator movie made no money.

Steve: Yeah, but that was because it had Danny Glover replacing Arnold.
The problem isn’t the concept, it’s the execution.

Joe: The first movie at least put our strongest human against a teenage Predator and they came out relatively even.
The AVP movies were kinda shitty because all anyone wanted to see was 10,000 Aliens vs. 10,000 Predators and we got some shitty actors talking for way too long.

Steve: Exactly.
AVP can go screw itself.
That was a bad idea in the first place AND they didn’t do it right anyway.

Joe: I’m saying you’ve got to give humans at least a fighting chance to survive, and it looks like that’s what this movie does.

Steve: Yeah, exactly.
Just like the Arnold movie.

Joe: Right, I think we agree.

Steve: I liked Predator 2 in concept, but I’d have to actually watch it again to know how good or bad it really was.
I suspect a lot of the “bad” was actually just “dated.”
Because it took place in the city and all the gangbangers had brightly colored mohawks.

Joe: I’m saying the problem with the last 3 Predatorish movies was that humans seemed helpless.

Steve: For my money, the best Predator story since the first movie was a little comic book called Batman vs. Predator.
Which sounds like just another silly comic book crossover but was, in fact, the shiznit.

Joe: I remember that short.

Steve: No, it was a comic.
It was basically the same concept as Predator 2, but better executed.

Joe: Yeah, but I remember the short.

Steve: Oh, Batman: Dead End.
Yeah that was a cool short, but it also had Aliens in it, so screw it.

Joe: Right.

Steve: Batman vs. Predator was just Predator 2, but with Batman instead of Danny Glover.
Predator comes to the big city and starts murdering all the most powerful people.
Mob bosses, boxing champions, etc.
Until he finally targets Batman.

Joe: Ah.
Better concept.

Steve: Several Batman/Predator fights ensue.
Batman loses most of them.
Anyway, I’d better get a copy of Predator for tonight.
Sarah’s never seen it.

Joe: Really?
It’s on all the time.
It’s one of the top three Arnold movies.
Oh, there’s a wicked list.
Top 3-5 Arnold movies.

Steve: Predator, Terminator one and two.

Joe: Yeah, that’s pretty much it.

Steve: Well, it depends on what we mean by “top.”

Joe: Maybe if you go to 5 it gets tougher for 4 and 5.

Steve: After them I’d say True Lies.

Joe: I liked Total Recall.
Maybe the first Conan.

Steve: Leaving out Twins and Kindergarten Cop on the assumption that we’re talking about action movies.

Joe: Yeah.

Steve: Okay, yeah here’s my list:
1. Terminator 2
2. Conan the Barbarian
3. Predator
4. Terminator
5. Total Recall
6. True Lies

Joe: Mine:
Terminator 2
Predator
Terminator 1
Conan the Barbarian
Total Recall
True Lies was good though

Steve: Yeah, I’m iffy on whether Conan or Predator should be #2, actually.
They’re both amazing movies.
Conan was the father of a new genre of sword-and-sorcery movies, AND it was the first movie to make Arnold a movie star.
But then Predator was one of the single best action movies of the greatest era of action movies.

Joe: True.
You know what would be terrible, Arnold in a Star Trek movie.

Steve: Yes, Arnold as Spock.
No, Arnold as Scotty.

Joe: Wouldn’t that be the worst thing you’ve ever seen?

Steve: Yes.
Yes it would.
Anyway, I’ve got to get in the shower now, but I leave you with this:

And this: