Steve: Do you ever buy frozen corn dogs?
Joe: No.
Steve: This is my corn dog rant.
I like the occassioanl corn dog or two
I don’t buy them often, but when I do, I want them to be good
Joe: Naturally.
Steve: Everybody knows that things heat better in a real oven than a microwave, but if you’re in a hurry, you use the microwave.
Every box of corn dogs I’ve ever bought has had microwave instructions on it.
Not one time has a corn dog survived the microwave.
So you know what I’ve decided?
YOU CAN’T COOK CORN DOGS IN THE MICROWAVE!
Why the heck do they put microwave instructions on a product that can’t be cooked in a microwave?
‘Cuz here’s the thing
Whatever part of the corn dog is on the bottom is going to be ice cold while the part on top gets too hot to eat.
Flipping it in the middle of cooking never works because they’re round and they roll.
So there’s always going to be part of the corn dog that’s ice cold.
Unless you leave it in the microwave ten seconds too long.
Then the whole thing explodes.
And most of the time they end up half exploded and half cold.
Joe: Somewhere in Haiti, there’s a starving child who totally agrees with you.
Steve: I should just use my oven.
Joe: He really sympathizes with your problem and he’s going to pray for you.
Steve: Haitians get all the sympathy.
Joe: He marks your problem as one of the top ten to come up today, somewhere between his grandmother’s death and his lack of clean water.
Champ.
Anyway, I’m out, time to go be a husband/father in person.
Steve: Ever since you turned democrat, you’re no fun to talk to
