Who is the greatest?
Songs stuck in my head: “I want candy” by the 80′s band that had a chick lead singer with a mohawk, three songs by Coldplay that all sound the same (shocker).
Worst song ever stuck in my head “Two Become One” by Spice Girls.
That thing was stuck in my brain for six months.
Steve: Sweet Child O’ Mine is stuck in my head right now.
I bought Appetite for Destruction on iTunes the other day and played it in the car all the way to Azusa and back.
Now Axl Rose won’t leave me alone.
Joe: I can’t listen to Guns N’ Roses. I turned on the last five minutes of a VH1 “Best hard rock songs of all time” hosted by the douche from Rock of Love who used to sing for Poison. “Welcome to the Jungle” was chosen over about fifteen better songs as the No. 1 of all time.
On principle alone there are twenty Led Zep songs that should be higher, seven or eight AC/DC songs, ten or so Metallica songs, five or six Rage Against the Machine Songs and others.
Just pissed me off.
Plus they grouped Queen in there which makes no sense to me, but whatever on that.
Should have known by the host that I’d be pissed, but still.
Steve: I don’t understand Led Zepplin being in that group.
But as much as I hate to say it, I’m with VH1 on this one.
I won’t say Welcome to the Jungle is indisputable, but it has as much right to that spot as a lot of other songs.
Joe: I think we’re not friends anymore based solely on your moronic review of Led Zep.
You’re fucking stupdid.
I even misspelled stupid and I’m still smarter.
Steve: Led Zepplin is not “hard rock.”
Joe: Well, okay.
I forgive you then if that’s what you’re saying.
Steve: ?
Joe: It’s metal, but really the entire list was retarded.
Steve: What did you think I was saying?
Joe: That Led wasn’t better than GNR.
Steve: Oh fuck that.
Joe: Okay.
Making sure.
Was going to have to write you off right there.
Steve: Yeah, Led Zepplin was like one step short of what I would consider hard rock.
Joe: Regardless, I hate that dude from Poison.
I think that’s my main point.
Steve: Right.
Well Poison had what… one memorable song?
Cherry Pie. That was about it right?
Joe: People talk about “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” as if anyone other than my fat uncle liked it, and even he didn’t like it – he was just too stoned to get up and change the record.
Steve: Oh yeah.
Well, Bill and Ted quoted that at the gates of Heaven.
And they got in.
So it must have some merit.
Joe: I think people got caught up in crappy music and thought the song was good because it seemed like Poison might have an artistic bit of expression in there.
Steve: Yeah.
Probably.
Joe: Like when a retarded kid recites a poem he claims he wrote, only everyone discovers a week later it was a Robert Frost poem and the dude’s only half retarded.
Fucking half retards.
Steve: I’m gonna put Led Zepplin into Wikipedia and see how the collective consciousness of the internet defines their musical genre.
“rock”
That’s all they get.
Joe: Rock was an okay definition for any band in 1965, but terrible today.
Steve: Oh wait.
“Their rock-infused interpretation of the blues and folk genres[5] also incorporated rockabilly, reggae, soul, funk, classical, Celtic, Indian, Arabic, pop, Latin and country.”
That’s a bit more thorough.
Joe: Yeah, that makes more sense.
Steve: Now let’s see GNR.
Also just “rock” in the first sentence.
“The music of Guns N’ Roses is a fusion of punk rock, blues-rock, heavy metal and classic rock and roll.”
Joe: You know what band I hated even though I didn’t have any right to? “Velvet Revolver.”
Steve: You hated them because they stole Slash?
Joe: No, I just hated them because they were a super duper group, made up of the parts of other super groups. But I like Audioslave, so I’m kinda a hypocrite.
I mean, I didn’t particularly like their music and I thought they were incredible underacheivers, but so was Audioslave really.
Steve: Well, the Traveling Wilburys were the shiznit.
Joe: Yeah, but those were legends, not fucking rock gods.
Steve: Until Roy Orbison died.
Which is weird.
You wouldn’t think George Harrison, Bob Dylan, and Tom Petty would be that suckified by the loss of Roy Orbison.
But they were.
Joe: Dude, the entirety of the Traveling Wilburys was like a huge “how famous can we make our band before it plays a chord” experiment.
Steve: Yeah pretty much.
Actually I read they were all just hanging out one day.
Which I only believe because that other guy was also in the band.
The Electric Light Orchestra guy.
Joe: Let’s create the Waveling Trilburys with Paul McCartney, Bruce Springstein, Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton.
Steve: Only if I get to play kazoo.
Joe: Sure, but here’s the thing, we’ll tell them they can only play coffee hosues near small liberal arts colleges, and only then unannounced.
Steve: Hmm.
Joe: That way, I can read dozens of “Waveling Trilburys Cause Riot at Coffee House Near Small Liberal Arts College” headlines.
Steve: That sounds interesting.
Could we cram Trent Reznor in there too?
Joe: From NIN?
Steve: Yeah, he’s got a pretty big fan base.
And he’d confuse the hell out of those other guys.
Joe: Nah, we’d have to create a modern day Traveling Wilburys…the Saturday Night Specials with Trent Reznor, Zach de la Rocha (rage), and two other guys we’d only wind up arguing about.
Steve: He’d be their version of Jeff Lynne. The guy that’s kind of famous enough to be here… but only because the other guys are SOOO ridiculously famous.
Joe: I think you gotta put a guy like that on even ground, he’s too much of a bulldog to be a second banana.
But I gotta pretend to work for a while
Steve: Ok, quickly. Who would win in a fight? Axl Rose or Feddie Mercury?
And no playing the gay card.
Joe: uh
What kind of fight?
Steve: A guitar fight. To the death.
Joe: I’m probably too biased. I think Freddie Mercury is amazing and his voice had far more range that Axl’s, so I should bow out.
Steve: No no.
I mean they’re actually hitting each other with guitars.
Which is basically a question of who’s scrawnier due to heavy drug use.
Joe: Oh… Freddie Mercury also died of AIDs, so its’ kind of a toss up there.
Steve: Oh yeah.
I guess the living guy beats the dead guy no matter what he died from.
Unless it’s an airborne contagion.
In which case it’s a draw.
Joe: Right.
Okay, I’m out.
Steve: Later.
